sleepless nights

i often can't sleep at night.
my mom says it's because i have such a wonderful mind; it doesn't like to shut off at night,
i think it's because my mind is mocking me,
mocking me with memories of the past,
memories of the used to be, the has-been, the was.

i often sit in bed for hours thinking......
my past is the reflection on the pupil of my left eye that i am looking at in the mirror,
always there, always a part of me. always staring me straight in the face, unrecognizable, often hard to notice--or remember to notice--but always there.

i used to think that i would have lots of friends in high school. life would be just as carefree and blissful as Troy and Gabriella in High School Musical.

was i wrong.......

they say not to worry about the past, forget the future, and cherish the present, because it is a gift. i'll my past, gift wrapped, bow on top, thanks, put the receipt in the bag.

back when we were given a box of crayons and told to explore the world through our own eyes, through our crayons, onto our paper.

don't doodle on your assignments they say,

i say take me back to 1st grade, where life was so much more simple.

-David Charleston